Rambling

Detached. Isolated.
Stuck in a room,
facing a screen.
Eating, drinking,
sleeping, bathing.
Don’t talk to anyone.
Cycle. Life?
Who are you?
Why are you here?
I want to be happy.
I’m going to be a doctor.
Plans. Future.
Watching shows, marathon.
An escape from reality.
Why escape?
What’s wrong with your reality?
So bored, feeling insignificant.
Too much complaint, too ungrateful.
Too much daydreaming, thinking,
but not doing.
Do something. Change it.
Fix it. Fix yourself.
Do it now.

Bored

For months, I have mostly stayed at home watching several TV shows I’ve already seen a couple of times. I had just graduated from year 12 and am unsuccessful in my quest to find employment. Therefore, as aforementioned, I have been binge-watching TV series, travelling to town to watch new released films/movies, meeting with friends and writing fan fiction. However, as time passed I grew restless. It even came to the point where I begged for university to hurry up and begin its torture, torture I would very much welcome.

Rotten Feelings

Why is it that I feel relieved when I’m not with you? Everyday I don’t see you in the morning I feel safe and happy and when you turn up I feel as if my dreams have been crushed. I am just waiting for you to give me a tangible reason to hate you, to cut you out of my life. Everything you do seem to irk me and whenever I’m with you I feel tired. Whenever I’m with you I’m only pretending, everything I do is forced because if I say what I truly want to say I’m pretty sure it would hurt you and if I act the way I want to it would annoy you. Why is it that when I’m with you I can’t wait to leave and go somewhere else so I can start a new life without you? My heart’s too heavy and I hate this feeling, I hate hating you…